Today’s topic is an essential one: Grow a Spine.
What exactly do I mean by this? And is it possible to have a spine without being a difficult, controlling lady? Important questions to ask especially as our goal is to be ladylike and lovely, and yet so exciting to learn that we can have a level of confidence and boldness within our light-hearted, lovely composures!
Where does this begin?
Grow a spine is a funny little phrase, isn’t it? I originally got it from a movie that I watched awhile back. The “good guy” was describing how capable and seemingly unstoppable his opponent was. His superior listened to his narrative and then responded by telling him to grow a spine – he had a job to do and was capable of doing it.
And that funny little phrase stuck with me.
I found as I was working I could be completely comfortable and certain with my plan and efforts … until someone commented or questioned them. Then the self doubt would creep in and a million scenarios of how their comment was valid, etc, etc. If no one had said anything I’d be fine. If someone said something I all too easily felt incompetent. And then that silly little phrase popped into my mind.
Grow a Spine.
Simple enough, yet it has really helped me not overreact to people’s comments. I like to weigh what they have to say and evaluate their take – and then make adjustments (or not!) as necessary.
The simple truth is that nine times out of ten, derailing you is not another’s intent. (To be brutally honest, you’re just not that important to them!) People talk, that’s it. And we do it to other’s too. Not intentionally of course, but we do.
“Ooh, what made you choose purple to go with that?” might be an innocent question we ask doing our best to show interest, but on the receiving end another might panic and think, why not? Was purple a bad choice? What color would be better?… See what I mean?
But when we grow a spine, when we force ourselves to remember that we do have a clue about what we are doing, we exude a sort of confidence. And in the end, we must have a quiet confidence in the choices we’ve made and not allow ourselves to be derailed by another’s interest.
When and How to Use
Now that we have determined just what growing a spine looks like, when and how do we use it? Well certainly not in other’s faces. Expressing our take on things when unasked doesn’t come across as someone who has a quiet confidence, but rather someone who is a pain in the neck! Keep it to yourself unless asked or unless you feel it really is important to share it.
Some people in your life will be well-meaning, but they might coddle you a bit to protect you. Definitely show them your appreciation, but also inspire confidence. That’s what a lady does. She appreciates and accepts help and kindness from others, but she also has a spine and can take care of herself. This capability is never to replace another’s thoughtfulness, but mostly to help you keep from being the needy type.
I sincerely hope this post has been an encouragement to you! It is fascinating to learn that you can be a happy, easy, lovely lady and still have a spine – essentially a quiet confidence – isn’t it?! It’s not an either/or thing. It’s a carefully curated both thing!
Until Next Time!
Hope.
PS. Feel free to leave me a comment below! I love when you share your thoughts! If you have a topic suggestion please feel free to mention it!