Be You

I remember feeling as if I had a breakthrough earlier this year. It felt revolutionary, even daring! I was going to pursue and enjoy pursuing the little things in life that meant so much to me!

Late one night I shared this idea with my parents. They kindly listened as I told them I realized that I was living too cautiously, not purposely and eagerly as I wanted to. I had realized that I had been missing out on little things that brought me joy and fired up my enthusiasm simply because I was concerned how it might impact others or what they might think of the little things that I liked so much.

This is not a reflection on those close to me, but my over-analyzing a situation and deciding what I thought others thought of it. An exhausting exercise! 

For instance, I enjoy chocolate. Perhaps it is my love language (kidding!). But due to what someone said or commented about chocolate, I decided I was silly to enjoy it so much and decided to just stop buying it. Now I don’t over indulge by any stretch, but I do enjoy a piece or three every now and then. It is delicious and delightful! And yet, being as conscientious as I can be, I let that comment take the joy from having chocolate. Not that that is how the comment was meant. Someone didn’t come share their concern of me and chocolate or encourage me to get by with less. I just took it on myself and went without. I can be ridiculously sensitive as to what people might be saying – and it can be exhausting!

But then thankfully, my father came along with a new self-help training for us! This training took you through a detailed questionnaire on situations and your responses to them. Each of us took it and then went over our results together. It was fascinating to see overlaps in different areas. My sister and I were approximately as organized as each other, whereas my Dad and I were equally good at getting things done.

The test was scored by percentages. The more agreeable or cautious you were, the higher your percentage. One of my scores was 98% – conscientious.

Yes, I believe it. From an early age I remember feeling overly conscientious.

Being overly conscientious can be a good thing, but it must be carefully watched. To be highly conscientious to do a job well and thoroughly would be an excellent use of this trait! But to let it govern you too closely based on things other indirectly say is ridiculous – and a bit embarrassing! I found myself limiting the silliest little areas that I found potential areas for concern from others.

And yet this year has been exciting to me, to discover this weakness and to seek to be a bit more fully myself and who God has designed me to be! I am learning to not to be so quick to take on the potential concerns of another! It truly feels like a breakthrough!

Now I’m not talking anything crazy. I mean simple perks and delights. For instance, I treat myself to chocolate every now and then. I bought Michael Buble’s new CD. And I curl my hair regularly! I am thoughtful so as not to annoy other people with what I like, but I am learning that it is okay if I like something whether or not another does! I guess you could say that after all these years I am learning to be myself!

This effort has been a work in progress. Some days I recognize it for what it is, while other days I don’t and I have to remember that it is okay to enjoy what I enjoy! And I want to invite you to do the same.

Perhaps you need this invitation or perhaps not. Either way, let me just remind you that God created you the way you are. Embrace it! Step fully into it and own it! There is nothing more exciting than seeing a Christian appreciate who they are and what they do! It is inspiring! And I believe it is an excellent representation of who we serve!

Until Next Time!

Hope.

PS. Do you know someone who might benefit from this reminder? Please feel free to share!