I’ve never really been one for excuses. Not since I’ve grown up anyway. I’ve never liked hearing them or giving them. Excuses don’t inspire confidence! “The best excuse-giver ever”, really shouldn’t be anyone’s life goal.
But what about explanations? Sometimes where an excuse might cast blame inappropriately, an explanation can explain the situation and make facts clear, right? Or does it? I don’t know if you have noticed it, but personally, my explanations come across as re-named excuses.
“I didn’t work on my book yesterday because I had to tag items” or “I didn’t clean my office because I didn’t have time before I left” … and the explanations go on.
Explanations help explain why you didn’t accomplish something and the added because explains the reason. But in reality, that pesky little because is merely a thinly veiled excuse.
Think about it. If I were to say, “I didn’t finish tagging garments because I ran out of hangers to hang them on” it just sounds like an explained excuse. Nobody really cares how many hangers I might have. I should just go get more and save the explanation. But if I were to say, “I didn’t finish tagging items – but the good news is that I do have more!” it simply sounds like a statement. A positive statement, at that!
(I own and run a women’s clothing boutique – thus the garment/tagging/hanger example!)
Explanations No More
I have recently realized that I’ve been the worst about making explanations. And I realize that I am not the only one who struggles with it – it is prevalent on social media, in public and even among my friends. I don’t point it out to bring you down but to simply encourage you to set a higher standard: No More Explanations.
Make intentional decisions and own them! When you feel an explanation about to leave your lips, spin it around and own it!
How do you spot an explanatory excuse? I have found that they typically have a feigned apology or disappointment included. The because seems to indicate why you are disappointed or apologizing about what was or was not accomplished.
It’s as if you are telling someone about what was (or wasn’t) done, and then following it with your dissatisfaction in it. To me, that is an excuse, plain and simple.
As a quote that I recently read says it:
That new level is a higher standard.
This Tendency Goes Way Back
I remember struggling with this when I was quite young. My sister and I were always getting in trouble for arguing. All. The. Time.
As the years wore on, our arguments seemed to change to ‘debates’ (just as annoying to listen to, let me assure you!)
I remember my older sister telling us “stop fighting!”. “We’re not fighting, we are discussing,” I explained to her. …for some reason we got in trouble anyway. It would seem that my talent for explaining things goes way back!
Take Thorough Inventory
Pay close attention to what you are telling others! I am (again!) embarrassed to say that I realized I was forming excuses around everything! (because … just wait, I’m sure I have a stellar explanation as to why…!) [kidding!]
Trace it back as far as your thoughts. Do you find yourself thinking through potential situations that may require you to give lengthy explanations?
I often think about potential conversations that might happen. But now, instead of thinking about explanations that I might offer, I intentionally consider how I might better own the choices I have made. No excuses or explanations.
What about you? Do you also find this something that you can work on? How might you help yourself and others to overcome this struggle? I’d love it if you’d share with me below.
Until Next Time!
Hope.
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A fine point! I struggle with this a lot. It seems everything has an explanation but they can be read so easily as excuses. Love you !😘😘😘
Ooh, I know it! Sometimes the line is awfully fine, isn’t it? Love you, sweet girl! 😘