How to Handle Uncomfortable Situations
I am quite excited to say that I have some incredible business opportunities coming up! One is a large (my largest yet!) fashion event and the other is a house party featuring the items that I offer! And then there is the whole potential consulting opportunity…! Needless to say, I am thrilled about the ladies that I will be able to help!
But these large events come with a price tag. I’m not talking about the fees or tickets, I’m talking about what it takes to be a part of these events (without having a nervous breakdown!)! Now I know some of you are quite confident and comfortable with yourselves. You probably wonder why I or anyone else might feel an event like this intimidating. I admire you. Your calm. Your confidence. The way you handle yourself just so. That’s what I am working towards!
To you ladies, no matter your age, who know where I’m coming from – this post is just for you! These are things that I know to be true, but can forget in the nerve-racking moment. Let’s help each other develop our confidence, shall we?!
One of the most helpful pieces of information that I’ve come across on how to handle yourself in uncomfortable situations is from “Growing Up Duggar” written by the four oldest Duggar girls. The book itself is lovely and has some incredible stories and inspiring insight – I do recommend it!
In their book, the girls share that they have learned, when in new or overwhelming situations, instead of standing silent and trying to retreat to the furthest, least obvious corner to hide, they go out of their way to make the people who are visiting with them comfortable. They say that being in large groups can be intimidating, but if you always remember to put others comfort and ease above your own, you will be at ease yourself! Isn’t that neat?! And it makes such sense! We should go out of our way to make sure that people around us aren’t struggling with feeling uncomfortable or nervous. Let’s be a source of calm and encouragement to them!
Another thing that helps when meeting new people or being in unfamiliar settings, is that, instead of trying to act casual through an awkward silence, ask people about themselves. You will find it is one of their favorite subjects and one that they know quite well! This advice is especially helpful for me in that I struggle with awkward silences from time to time. You would not believe how entirely robbed of conversational comments I can become! And I’m afraid I find myself defaulting to comments on the weather. Not impressive, I know! That’s why I’m working on it!
Conquer Your Fears
An uncomfortable situation can be something you fear. I know I fear uncomfortable situations! I guess my fear is in the unknown – not knowing how the situation will go and not wanting to look a fool. But I need to remember not to give the unknown too much credit – I shouldn’t let fear keep me from being myself and helping others!
I’ve just started reading a new business book and I am enjoying it SO much! I can’t wait to share it with you on here once I’ve finished it! But until then, let me share something from it! The author talks about fears that we have in small business. Typically, in the long run, these fears aren’t founded in reality, they are just unknowns that we misrepresent to ourselves.
The author encourages us, in order to be successful, to face our fears head on, to conquer them. So face those fears, don’t give them a second thought or the benefit of over-thinking them! (And I’ve had several opportunities to do just that these past few weeks in my small business! Do you know several of my “fears” were the easiest things ever?!)
Take action and you will find that it typically isn’t the enormity of the task that is so overwhelming but rather the new and unknown. Once conquered the first time, these fears will typically disappear … and new, larger ones will come in their place, but you will face potential fears your whole life. It’s up to you to remember how to approach them and not let them put your life and opportunities on hold!
Now apply that business fear story to that awkward or uncomfortable situation that you are dreading. In your mind you might have pictured a million different ways that things might go wrong. But don’t. You won’t find any encouragement or confidence in those thoughts! Replace your fears with a confident knowledge that you are capable of handling this event or situation with grace!
The less ground we give our fears and self-doubt, the better we will approach each situation! Do you know that I used to be so incredibly nervous to be around people who weren’t my family? I was. I had a hard time walking a straight line! Talk about the faint of heart!
I remember when I’d go to checkout at a store, I would practically come unhinged trying to pay for my items. The checkout ladies would sense my unease (like a flashing red light – they couldn’t miss it!) and get slightly annoyed, which of course made me even more nervous! My sister would often come to my rescue and help me put my change back in my wallet. Yes, that’s how terribly nervous I was – I couldn’t put the change away!
But then one day, my sister started working and I had to do the grocery shopping by myself. I didn’t mind the thought of that at all … until I stepped up to the cash register to pay. Imagine me, in my early twenties, trying to pay for a conveyor belt full of groceries. Dropping my card, fumbling with my purse. Not too inspiring!
But little by little I discovered that the less nervous I allowed myself to appear to be, the smoother things went and the kinder the cashiers were! Now this didn’t happen overnight, and it certainly didn’t happen because I didn’t feel nervous. It began to happen as I decided to be bigger than my fear and to pretend not to be nervous. To pretend to be calm, cool and collected. Unruffled. At peace. And I am forever grateful to be past that fear!
That doesn’t mean that I don’t sometimes feel nervous, or a bit ill at ease. It just no longer overwhelms me when checking out! That’s easy now! Praise God, I’ve conquered that fear! So, with these large and exciting events coming up, I just remind myself “God’s got this!”! He’s not brought me this far to abandon me! He’s brought me on this journey so that I can go further and do more for Him! He is my source of calm and confidence!
Have these stories inspired you to conquer your fears? Perhaps you hadn’t even technically considered them fears, but they might be holding you back. Confidence, my dear! Even if you don’t feel calm, cool and collected, act like you do and the feeling will follow later! We are not here, in this time in history, in this nation, in this town, or in this family, to be ordinary – let’s be remarkable!!
Until Next Time!
Hope.